Turkish men dating asian women Ukraine sex online chat
This was exactly Nolan's response when I suggested that his attitude reeked of racism.
Like so many men with the no-Asians dating and hooking-up policies, Nolan hid behind the old "That's just my preference" excuse.
Shoving them into one box of physical attributes and labeling it "Do not touch" is tantamount to saying that all black people look alike.
Sure, we have no control over what we're attracted to, but we can control whether we see people as individuals or merely as belonging to groups that are determined by ethnicity and race.
If you can't, or won't, think outside boxes and beyond ethnicities, at least be courageous enough to face the uncomfortable implications of your color vision.
"Jeremy, I think I might be racist: I'm just not attracted to Asian men," a German friend in Berlin once confided in me, earning my respect, if not a free pass. This applies equally to so-called "chocolate queens" and "rice queens" and "queens" who shun white men.
My second instinct was to ask him what exactly he found attractive, then. If I had lined up every man in the room and arranged them from the ones I found most attractive down to the least, starting at the bar, his boyfriend might have ended up somewhere near the bathroom.
My first instinct was to ask why he would live in a country where he wasn't attracted to the people, but I'd already met his longtime partner, so I figured that hooking up with the locals wasn't a priority."Sorry, I just don't find them attractive," with no interest in self-reflection to determine why, is a cop-out. Racism isn't just about rejecting minority groups or persecuted ones.Before I met Nolan, I would have imagined that someone who had been living in Asia for a decade would have realized that the contents of the Asian box are as varied as those of the white, black or Latino ones.Furthermore, no matter how people want to spin it, rejection for being of a certain race stings so much more than being overlooked because of your hair or eye color, or even your gender.When I carefully considered Nolan's words, though, I had to give him a little credit.