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Aaron confronted such criteria-gone-amok when he met an attractive young lady who pretty early in the date asked him to spell "segue." He said "S-E-G-W-A-Y" and she looked sad.

Then she asked, "Do you know who Frank Lloyd Wright is?

But there's something about writing down "What I'm Looking For" that makes it official.

You've put it out in the world; you've intimidated everyone who doesn't measure up; you may even believe that you couldn't possibly be happy with a man who makes less than 50 grand or stands short of 6 feet tall.

You kind of creeped me talk is really not working for me." He responded, "hahaha creeped you out, bored me out.

You seem nice but frazzled and the wistful surrender of your allure was not working for me....

Fran had to grant that he was good-looking even as she rolled her eyes at his cheesiness.

Over e-mail, these guys have what I call Google brain, time to access information to make them look smarter than they really are." For her first online tryst, she designed an on- and offline treasure hunt that her rather conventional-minded date failed to follow.

He ended up sending her "near-abusive e-mails." Post-date e-abuse figures in several of the stories in the book (see #6 below).2.

A few minutes later, he pulled up, slowed the car only enough to yell, "I can't find parking and I'm not attracted to you" before speeding off! Maria's story took place in 2004, the Friendster era. He chatted her up and invited her to an open reading at his parents' bookstore.

The reading was "packed with attractive women in their 20s and a few nerdy guys.... With a phone that calls, texts, e-mails and even GPS-tracks, you never have to call it a night. Sandy endured a night with pretentious creepy vegan Rafe.

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People feel they're owed a picture at this point, and righteous indignation flares if it's too flattering.

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