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To them, it didn't matter that he was intelligent or loving or good; it just mattered that I would be the one carrying my boyfriend over the threshold someday. Logic and love prevailed over sizeism and antiquated gender roles! To see a larger woman with a smaller (be it shorter or skinnier) man just isn't the norm (unless the woman is a tall and statuesque model — then it's OK).
I started to see our size difference as funny and cute. So in the course of these three years, here are some things I've heard and been asked.
I had more dates in a month in the US than I would in a decade in Australia. As a fat girl I never had dates while living in Australia – but as soon as I moved to Los Angeles everything changed. Guys literally chased me out of bars just to speak to me (one of those encounters even turned into a three year relationship.) I was single, ready to flamingle and life in Hollywood was amazing and everything you’d imagine. Which is why I packed up, sold everything, gave up my radio hosting job and moved to Los Angeles with nothing but a suitcase.
My plus size blog Big Curvy Love was kicking along, I was working in podcasting, rocking fabulous fashion and for once in my life finally felt like a legit part of the deep end of the dating pool. I was exactly the same person; same personality, same looks, and same weight.
I even launched my own 50 Fat Dates project as a way of documenting my experience in the plus size dating world. The only thing that was different was the location. My apartment was two blocks from the Hollywood Walk of Fame and was like living in a real-life Melrose Place situation.
The guy next door was a drag queen, another neighbour was a romance novelist/ science professor/female bodybuilder, the guy above me worked for movie studio, there was a photographer, bass guitarist, actor, luxury car salesperson and me. I was in the centre of the world’s biggest dream factory, but the reality was I was crafting my own dream through 50 Fat Dates.
It wasn't that I was fat, or horribly concerned with how a boy would perceive that fatness.
It was more that I was taught that a woman (especially a fuller-figured and tall woman) must only date a man who was even more fuller-figured and taller than she was.
In fairness, I don’t think this happens to ‘regular’ size people either but the point is still valid.The purpose was to offer myself up as the guinea pig for plus size daters and report back on my experiences worts and all.I went through all the options dating had to offer including Tinder, speed dating, mixers, activity-based dating, and introductions from friends. I created profiles on a lot of online dating sites.It's OK — it's right — for a big dude to have a skinny wife. He respected and encouraged every dream and every goal to implant itself into my brain.He can protect her and look after her and make her feel and look like a princess. Well, she may as well be castrating him of all his manly cis-glory and strength. And she'd look even fatter (can't you just hear all those audible gasps in the distance? But, of course, he was two inches shorter and 100 pounds lighter. When I first introduced Paddy to relatives a year after we'd gotten together (because that first year was spent whilst I was studying abroad in Europe, and so meeting anyone in the family was pretty impossible and unnecessary — it was glorious), the obvious reactions ensued.